entry 56

Mom asked me this morning what "program" she was in.

I tried to  explained to her that she wasn't in a "program" 

I said... this is your life!

For some reason she is under the impression 

that  this "program" she's in has restrictions.

I honestly think this stems from my leaving her home last night with John.

I saw her watching out the window as I drove away.

John said she didn't come out at all while I was gone.

I went with Katie to play bunko for the first time.

I had a migraine and tried to get out of going since (i felt nauseas) 

but Katie was adamant about me going!

It was so much fun and I had a great time migraine and all!

Mom is afraid when I leave. 

 (which rarely ever happens)

Anyway, back to the "program"

Mom was weepy so I tried to lighten the mood.

I jokingly said...

 Mom, you are in the "pre death program".

Finally she laughed.

She is confused about coming and going in the "program"

"What can I do and not do in this "program"?

Even though I explain to her  over and over,

 her ability to reason has faded to point that she can't grasp the thought.

(and for a fleeting moment she does...It leaves her memory in seconds)

At this point in time I have to verify (with someone) if what she's attempting to say is accurate.

She used to be able to "pull off normal"  around people and doctors.
 (or "trick" the interrogators as she puts it)

No longer can she fool the professionals.  

Mom's ability to verbalize (or lack of)  is the most

  significant change in her during the last six months.