I am condensing my blogs. All future posts will be at riding the wave of life.

entry 68

What a week this has been!

I'm emotionally spent so I will detail the week later.

In the photo below is mom with Sheila Bittle {LCSW, MS, PHD}.

Sheila has been a life saver (mostly for me).

Mom can't remember her name so I am in the process of making photo flash cards with names.

more later...

entry 67

Today started out pretty good.

I took mom to her appointment downtown, that went well.

Coming home we hit a hail storm that scared mom to death.

When we got home I tried to lay down for a couple of minutes.

Mom walked back and forth from her room to the kitchen over and over and over.

She peeked her head in my room 3 times in 15 minutes to insure I was still there.

As of right now she is very confused.

She wants to know how she will get to her church (I think she means in VA)

We have been going the rounds,

She won't believe that she has a new Bishop.

She keeps telling me that nice people drive her to church every week.

I asked: Who drives you to church?

She answered: John Myers

I asked: who is John Myers?

She answered: He's a very nice man that drives me to church every week.

I asked: I thought Jackie drove you to church every week?

She answered: No, don't make fun of me. This nice man, John Myers drives me to church.

Again, I asked: and tell me again who he is???

She answered: John Myers

I asked: where does he live?

She answered: just a while away.

Mom still doesn't how John is related to me...

entry 66

a well needed break...

My sister had spring break this week so she graciously agreed to have mama mia stay with her a couple of days. I took mom down Thursday afternoon and picked her up last night.

While mom was down there Jackie would call and ask...

Is it normal for her to constantly pace around?

Is it normal for her to constantly change her clothes?

Mom says it's getting dark, shouldn't we leave?

Quinn speaks with her on the phone...

She sounds like she's had a stroke!

Quite frankly mom didn't want to stay with Jackie.

Jackie had, had a tough week and mom said she was too depressing to be around.

I told mom that was why she needed to be there, to help Jackie.

mom became agitated

her face bright red

she started to cry

dont' leave me here!!!

So here's the picture...

Jackie's crying

mom's crying

{I really truly felt bad for both Jackie and mom

however

both will survive for a couple of days}

I went outside and called my dad...

OM he__!

I'm living in he__ dad!

He LOL. So did I.

That's all you can do.

New mission statement...

at the end of the day, it's all good!

{terrible cell phone pic}

entry 65

Mom and I went to today for our monthly shopping trip.

We get several boxes of ensure, mac and cheese, fruit cups, applesauce to name a few of her favs.

While driving we realized Natalie, Jeremy and Jaxon were right behind us.

We all met up at Costco to get our shopping done.

A storm was moving in and we were trying to beat the rain (we shopped maybe an hour or so).

It was starting to rain as we left so I got mom in the car and loaded up our haul.

Now keep in mind we just left Nat, Jer and Jaxon.

I was done loading and jumped in my seat when mom says...

There is this little boy running back and forth in the parking lot.

He looks quite a bit like Jeremy, (ya think)?

Maybe because it's Jeremy!

I laughed, so did she but probably had no idea why.

We made it just in time.

entry 64

Mom's lost her skirt...

Her church skirt...

The only skirt she has due to the fact she can't fit into the other skirt any longer.

She has had the skirt on all week long.

She had the skirt on all day yesterday.

Late afternoon, she emerged from her room with her tan cords on.

Mom, where is your skirt?

What skirt?

Your black church skirt.

Is it this?

 (pulls out every garment in her room)

Mom, do you know what a skirt looks like?

Of course I do, is this it?  

(pulls out a shirt with black and white stripes)

Mom do you know the difference between a skirt and a shirt?

Of course I do.

Is this it?

 (pulls out her pj's)

OM gosh, off to the store until we find that skirt. 

I have checked her room and closet thoroughly.

I truly don't know what she does with this stuff.

Mama Mia...

entry 63

Today we met with a person from a a home health care facility.  

They  help with respite care and just about anything else a caregiver and an afflicted person could need.  They  strive to match a person best suited for mom. 

 Care is available is hourly or 24/7, whatever the need. 

 Mom  is all doom and gloom  

she is convinced that she's being put in a facility

nothing I say will convince her otherwise

her fears...

she will be told what to wear

she will be told what to do

she will be told what to eat

her life will be taken away

nothing will be the same

no it won't

nobody s life stays the same

we will all die of something

be grateful you aren't dying of cancer

she never used to be afraid of dying but her fears have overtaken her life

her ability to reason

She turns her bed side table around so that no one can get in the drawers

she sleeps with her wallet under her pillow

********************************************************************

Read about ADL's 

(Activities of Daily Living )

entry 62 {easter 2010}

Top picture:

Easter 2009, mom looks aware and happy.

Middle and bottom pictures:

Mom is always so sad when Jackie leaves.

There's a huge change in one year.

On a lighter side...

Jackie threw her back out while mom was with her on Saturday. 

 Jackie had been given some muscle relaxers and told not to drive...

Well, she drove herself and mom to our house for Easter dinner.  

 It was lucky that John and Matt were outside in the front yard. 

 Matt asks John...isn't that Jackie's car down the road?  

Why yes it is Matt, answers John.

What do you suppose they were doing???

That's a great question, answers John.

Mom and Jackie had parked the car several houses down

 and started walking into a neighbors house when they were spotted. 

Jackie doesn't remember that part and mom doesn't remember anything about Easter day at all!

entry 61

mom wearing three shirts, actually sweaters...

(1) black sweater on backwards

(2) white knit 

(3) pink knit

entry 60

I haven't posted much this week. 

Not much to tell until yesterday!

Mom had a meltdown at the therapists office. 

 I told mom that I would be in the therapists office for a few minutes
but apparently she didn't remember. 

 {we were separated by one door in one wall}.  

Very long story short...

The whole way home mom went on and on about how someone

 should  have told her she'e be alone in the reception room .  

 I tried and tried to explain to her that I simply had to meet with the therapist,

she was to wait in the reception room
 and read the magazines and photo album I brought to keep her busy.  

It didn't matter what I said.

 She absolutely could not or would not understand.

I had planned to run several errands after the session.

When I pulled into the Walmart parking lot she wouldn't go into the store.

Mom, why?

 I might get left in the store! 

I'm safer in the car!

Don't leave the keys because someone might see them and kidnap me.

{any smart kidnapper would stay far away from my car}

By this time I was so frustrated with her.

I tried to explain that I simply needed to pick up a few items and she would not be left!  

Nothing worked.

She was convinced that this was some sort of ploy to leave her somewhere.

{believe me...at that point in time that was exactly what i wished i could do}

I ran into the store but was so anxious about her being alone in the car 

 I cut the list short and decided to go home.

By the time we got home I was frustrated to no end

 and  of course she was fine.

I started to get another migraine so I laid down to rest.  

At this point I figured she was on her own for a while.  

She had food, water, shelter and Bear.

I let John deal with her the rest of the night!

mom in the reception room

a small boy waiting patiently across from mom

{she had no memory of anyone else being in the room with her}

entry 59

I bought this puzzle of "nemo" at the $$$ store for the gkids but

 I decided to have mom try it for some brain exercising.

 She worked on it for about 30 minutes and got it done. 

 Yeah, mom.

Good job!

entry 58

cont...

Yesterday went better than I had expected!  Yeah!

Mom did well with the therapist and actually had a good time at the Alzheimer's association.

One smart associate paired mom up with another lady and they had a great time together!

The medication seems to be helping mom's anxiety and fear levels.

Mom still changed clothes 4 or 5 times that evening but oh well...

keeps her busy.

 {mom, jer, cadee and bear}

entry 57

Well here goes another "wonderful wednesday".  

First, mom and I go to see the therapist then the Alzheimer's assoc. for a little R&R-LOL.  

Mom hates going to both places.  

Yesterday I tried to get her to do a word search puzzle. 

 She refused! 

 I told her she only needed to exercise the brain she wanted to keep!

Not funny! 

 Mom was also mad at me because

 I typed up a list for her (as she asked me to do) of her scheduled activities.  

"This is insulting", she said.

More later....

entry 56

Mom asked me this morning what "program" she was in.

I tried to  explained to her that she wasn't in a "program" 

I said... this is your life!

For some reason she is under the impression 

that  this "program" she's in has restrictions.

I honestly think this stems from my leaving her home last night with John.

I saw her watching out the window as I drove away.

John said she didn't come out at all while I was gone.

I went with Katie to play bunko for the first time.

I had a migraine and tried to get out of going since (i felt nauseas) 

but Katie was adamant about me going!

It was so much fun and I had a great time migraine and all!

Mom is afraid when I leave. 

 (which rarely ever happens)

Anyway, back to the "program"

Mom was weepy so I tried to lighten the mood.

I jokingly said...

 Mom, you are in the "pre death program".

Finally she laughed.

She is confused about coming and going in the "program"

"What can I do and not do in this "program"?

Even though I explain to her  over and over,

 her ability to reason has faded to point that she can't grasp the thought.

(and for a fleeting moment she does...It leaves her memory in seconds)

At this point in time I have to verify (with someone) if what she's attempting to say is accurate.

She used to be able to "pull off normal"  around people and doctors.
 (or "trick" the interrogators as she puts it)

No longer can she fool the professionals.  

Mom's ability to verbalize (or lack of)  is the most

  significant change in her during the last six months.

entry 55 {treasure the time}...

entry 54

helping Babs button her coat

all the buttons

and the zipper

so endearing

entry 53

Today is better than yesterday with one exception...

Mom and I were driving back from an appointment.

I stopped at Wendy's and got mom's fav treat

a root bear float!

We were simply driving along.

No radio

No talking-none

only eating ice cream.

Out of no where mom asked me...

Are you talking to me or talking to yourself?

What, I asked?

Just now, it was so cute. You were talking to yourself.

Oh really, what did I say to myself?

Well, I can't remember but it was really funny.

*Hmmm, that's a new one for the blogbucket*

{I asked her if she'd been taking those Alice in wonderland drugs}

We laughed!

entry 52

This morning Natalie came over with Jason.

We sat around talking for a few hours

Mom included.

rewind...At first light

mom put on her suit as

she has done now for several weeks

{Mom waits for Jackie to pick her up and take her home}

But...she changed into her pants,

beige coat, gloves and scarf.

{not unusual to wear around the house}

Out of the blue...she said...

"If I go home now, will I be able to get into my house?"

What did you ask?

"I live 2 doors down, will I be able to get into my house, it's usually locked!"

"Mom, you live here. You are standing in your room."

Sigh..."Why do you have to make things so difficult for me?"

"I have things to do at home!!!"

I said...

" OK. Go home."

She seemed relieved.

I followed her with my camera.

She went around the house, not stopping at the kennel to see Bear.

Up the back steps she climbed

and tried to open the sliding glass door.

When she found it locked

she walked back down the stairs

and continued around the house-full circle.

Now back in my house,

"Did you get in?"

"No, the door was locked!"

WOW. I wonder if she will start wondering?

I thought she was doing a bit better!

By the way I just checked in on mom.

She has 2 sweaters on under her suit jacket

2 pair of pantyhose

3 knee highs

1 ped on her foot

her skirt on backwards

her undergarments on backwards-some missing

She refuses to believe that she's doing this!

entry 51

The brain

Vascular

Healthy

Plaques and Tangles

Degrading brain

entry 50

This is what I woke up to this morning.

Calm, peaceful, I'm happy to be home.

I don't have anywhere to go,

watch any kids.

So far, mom has stayed in her room.

No dogs whinning.

No phone ringing.

I' m sitting in the living room watching

the snow fall gently to the ground.

Beautiful!

Kitty just jumped up on me and settled on my arm.

An hour goes by.

Mom finally emerges from her room.

This is what she's has been doing..

Oh well, she'll be busy putting it all back!

entry 49

So mom and I are driving down the road, beautiful day and she asks...

"what in the world is that thing falling from the sky"???

"are you talking about the airplane"?

"where's an airplane"?

"right there, that thing in the sky"!

"Airplane? Ok, if you say so".